I hope I continue blogging

How I wish I could return to Berkeley to finish my degree...

I love it so much there. The campus, the teaching style... the country... I want to go back.

So it's been a million years since the last post.

I've done the roadtrip. and the couchsurfing. flew back to asia... I'm so used to long distance flights already. the 15 hour thing wasn't trying at all. frank and i watched american pie 1 and 2 on the plane. it's hilarious. maybe i should have been uncomfortable watching the explicitly sexual movies with him since we're not that close friends but wth. haha

then I met my family in shanghai. stayed longer by myself.

and now i have miraculously found a job that fits my timeline insanely well. i just started yesterday and will work till the end of the month... and the people are awesome, and the company is freakin cool. :)
Charles and Keith. It feels great to belong to a company and go round singapore saying "oh my company". hahha

It just feels great not to be wasting my life away at home.

So only 1 month of holiday left. There was an opening to go to India for IC. But I didn't even try for that cause I really wanted to work. I'm 100% sure this experience would be worth it. It's time I stop playing. I know IC isn't playing... but you know me, it's spending more of parent's money, more travelling, more fun. I should suffer once in a while. you know, work for my own pleasure. I hate that I'm spending mum's money while she's slogging away.

I've got lots of things planned for the week. I'm going out to buy some groceries...gonna bake brownies for tonight's party. Then I have a girls night with jw and evi tomorrow night... :)

I'm back

And I'm in Shanghai.

How am I coping in Asia now?

My dad is lecturing me on sky-diving, and excessive risk. He said I shouldn't do it again. And I said I wouldn't; that bungee jumping is next. And he started a whole new discussion that it's risky and who knows what would happen, and why would I subject myself to that risk...

ASIAN PARENT ALERT!!!

That's what they do. They warn us. They threaten us. They will physically stop us if they can. All to prevent us from making (what they perceive as) the worst mistake of our lives.

Welcome to Arizona

I love showering with warm water. Very rarely do I crave a cold shower. Today I wanted one. Hot water came out of the showerhead instead.

The moment I got out of the plane in Phoenix and walked into the connecting tunnel between aircraft and airport, I felt like someone lit me on fire. It was HOT.

It's been 2.25 days since I arrived in Phoenix and I've already done quite a bit. What else should I expect when I'm with Joel right? I arrived around 7 in the evening on Saturday; and Millie and her bf came to pick me up at the airport and we headed to Noshin's sister's wedding. It was a reception and apparently friends of friends could go. I felt terrible for attending a wedding when I've never met Rashin ever before. But I was really glad Joel arranged for me to attend it.

Rashin is in her early twenties... and honestly when I walked into the ballroom I saw so many young people I couldn't help but liken it to a expensive version of prom. Except with lots of older people on the other side of the room. There was an open bar... and the DJ was rocking clubbing music. It was quite the experience. I shudder when I think of the fact that the couple is only in their early twenties... with the husband still in medical school, and the wife a fresh graduate. Questions immediately came up in my mind. Who will bring home the bacon? What did they hope to get out of the marriage? Do they really believe they will last given the uncertainty right now?

I grew up knowing that as people become more educated, pursue greater ambitions and hence focus more on their careers at the beginning, they will inevitably get married at a later age. It is almost unfathomable for me that this young couple would choose marriage at this point of their lives. Disclaimer first: I don't know them and this is not a personal attack. I'm not specifically talking about this couple...

I just wonder.. when the man finally graduates, where will he find his job? Will they have to move? What will happen to the woman's career? How does the status quo change - when the man finally becomes financially able? etc etc.

After the whole event I was also telling Joel that the weddings back home was very much focused on the parents. We have a dinner catered to the friends of the parents... and I think the bride and groom sometimes almost feel bad for making their own friends hang out with the older generation. It's about "face".

I need to let people know my son is getting married. It needs to be a decent wedding and I have to invite ALL my relatives and friends.

Ironically, the wedding is not so much about the couple, but the couples' parents.

I always felt that only the honeymoon was truly for the couple in love. But there's no resentment in that... I would love to have a traditional chinese wedding... I think I may even be disappointed if I didn't get to do it. Having said that, I think marriage is a hugeee thing and I'm not even ready to talk about it now.

***

Sunday morning, Carlos, Joel and I went to Camelback mountain to go hiking.

We left the house at 4.30AM.

I totally wasn't in the mood for hiking but did it anyways.... it got kinda scary as we approached the top. Now it's been a while since I exercised... like properly...with the objective of staying fit not to burn calories when I give in to binges. The hike was really tough but the view was amazing and I did get to bond with Carlos. He is so easy to get along with, such a sweetheart!

We got back before 10am and we were EXHAUSTED. At least I was. I crashed and woke up at 1pm for the Independence Day party in Joel's house. So luckily we didn't have to leave the house :) Cut the long story short, I am in America... You see the flag and the stars. Red blue and white. And at every single house party, you see the plastic red cups. And if the party venue has a pool, you strip down to your bathing suit or birthday suit and get IN THE POOL!

It took me quite a bit of alcohol before I finally felt brave and inhibited enough to take off my clothes and leave myself feeling barely covered in a bikini. But you know, no one cares. Everyone is in their bathing suits and having a good time. They weren't there to critique each other's bodies or confirm the other's worst fears. We were there chatting and playing and cam-whoring with alcohol in hand. I can see how Americans bond with pool parties.

After the pool party we went to a block party to see fireworks... I have videos and pictures but I'm using Joel's comp so I'll upload them another time.

It's been a busy couple of days so we're taking it slow tomorrow. We're heading for Vegas this weekend and I won't have time to blog until I'm in China, or even back in Singapore. Time is moving so quickly I can't believe it.

Who would have thought that I'd be here (USA; Joel's house; LA and Vegas) again 1 year later? and getting another chance to get to know Joel's friends better?

Life works in the most mysterious ways. :) It's been a great journey so far.

Last week in Berkeley

You know that you should leave The US of A when......

1. Your visa is expiring
2. You're getting used to the smell of Weed, however much you hate it (this applies to the East Bay only actually)
3. You manage to finish a standard american size portion for your meal

The last point is ALARMING.

I don't know why I've been eating so much the last couple of days. Seriously, I've been eating A LOT. I'm constantly in search of more food after my regular serving. I just ate a WHOLE burrito. When I first came here, I had 1 burrito over 2 meals. And now I just finished one whole thing. Speaking of which, I love mexican food. Absolutely love it. I love chewy tortilla, mushy refried beans, mexican rice, sour cream, guacamole... YUMMM-MEE. I can't marry a man who doesn't love mexican food.

Anyway...

Life has gotten even better now. I finished my Human Sexuality Finals just now... and I have my Dev Psychology exam tomorrow... that's open book so it's a load off my shoulders. So I'm much more in the mood to blog now.

Over the weekend was the gay pride and it was really fun, although the parade itself was not up to my expectations, I was in awesome company, we had great weather.. what more could I ask for? I was drinking wine while walking on the road on Saturday. FYI, it's illegal to consume alcohol out in the open in USA so Joel poured his vodka into his 7up bottle and secretly gave in to alcohol in the middle of the day, while I drank apple-juice-look-alike Chardonnay from a paper cup. I finished the whole bottle all by myself. This is the result:

Why would I think I was being loud that afternoon? Look at the guy at the far left of the picture. No one looks at me. I mean..I always behave myself and I don't like extra attention... so why did the guy have to turn around and look under the silver monster? I figure he wanted to see where the noise was coming from. That's all I'm sayin.

I wasn't out of control. I'm never out of control... probably just a lot louder and happier. I sobered up eventually (it took some effort) but by then Joel and Tyler went to get magaritas and got drunk. And this is the result:

Tyler kept ignoring me... and as usual the gay boys make fun of my Singaporean accent.

At night, there was a shooting in the Castro. 1 died, 2 got injured. The shooter is apparently a 20 year old. Noshin heard the gun shots. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. But it happened. It's scary. Tyler and I were sitting on the steps outside one of the lovely houses in the Castro when 2 girls (they looked younger than me) came up to us and went up the stairs to sit behind us. We chatted a bit. Actually Tyler chatted with them... I wasn't paying any attention to them. Afterwards Tyler said the girls started licking Cocaine from their IDs... and they sat behind us so we would cover them up. It's messed up. Meanwhile while all this happening, Joel is standing in the middle of the road chatting with a guy that Noshin picked up for him.

Noshin had a rainbow flag with her and she went round poking guys' butts with it then screaming "I SUPPORT GAYS!". It was just hilarious. She poked a guy who happened to be straight (he was with his gf) and he was soooo startled. We just quickly walked away. When sitting down, she would wave her flag and continue screaming. One Asian guy stopped and gave her a smooch. Noshin then went on to compliment a guy's ass and then he started doing lunges in front of her. Then Noshin got up and did lunges with him. insanity. random. funny. not something we would ever do back home.

Sunday we went back for the parade. The LGBT Pride is a 2 day festival; the roads will be closed... there will be food stalls and music playing... but the parade is only on one day, which happened on Sunday. So we left the house around 10.30am on Sunday morning to catch the Parade at the Civic Centre. I was in such a hurry in the morning... was supposed to meet up with Andrew, Jon and Sean. And I told Sean I was going to call him but I totally forgot. So sorry Sean!

Anyway we took the BART down to SF... and the BART was PACKED. And I saw rainbows everywhere!! People with rainbow coloured socks. Rainbow hair. Rainbow eye shadow. People rode in trains and buses half naked. Hell, at the festival itself, I saw plenty of naked men and a few naked women. It was just crazy. Crazy. There was an unexplainable air of freedom and liberty. I would never do it myself, but I do love watching them go free without inhibitions and be accepted for who they are. Sure, there are some ABSOLUTELY ridiculous behaviour - like masturbating in public - yes, I saw that... but for the most part, you feel that it was a weekend dedicated to the queer folks to give them all the rights and space they deserve.

I love watching the gay parents march with their children. I love watching them hold hands, whether they are gays or lesbians. They have found a partner whom they love... you would think that the society would be more accepting of them, especially since the heterosexual couples have a divorce rate of 50% in America.

We headed back early (before Backstreet Boys performed) because Tyler was leaving on the 7.45pm plane. We got back to Berkeley.. walked him to the BART, then we went for dinner and watched the movie Grown Ups. We = Joel, Noshin, me, Sean and Andrew. We were going our separate ways after the movie when we realised we had a lot of things to say and discuss with each other... so we headed back to the cinema and just sat outside on the floor and chatted for a long long long time, mainly about psychology and about Joel and Noshin's characters.

Andrew decided that day that he misunderstood me. He is a psychologist in training and I guess he automatically tried to figure me out after weeks of classes... only to find out on Sunday that he got it all wrong!! hahaha.. Noosh said I'm an onion; that you need to peel me. CRACK me open. Aren't most people like that? I'm not that difficult to figure out. I'm always honest. You just have to ask and I would tell. I am capable of a discussion and a conversation; it's just that sometimes the opposite party isn't interested in one.

What else happened that I didn't cover....

Well, we went to watch "Children of God" on the night of Joel's birthday. It is an amazing film on Gay people...very educational and touching.

Oh yes, how could I forget! Sky-diving!
Perhaps I convinced myself so early on that it wouldn't be scary AT ALL.... it actually turned out to be fucking scary. Joel and Noshin said it was actually nothing.... but I thought the falling part was kinda scary. It happened so fast... I was just telling myself to keep my head back (as told by the instructor) and try my best to enjoy it. Adding on to that was the jump made me nauseous. I may need to jump another time to fully appreciate the feelings of it. Until the next sky diving, I am looking forward to other bucket to-do things like Cliff Diving and Bungee Jumping.

Exam Week

Life works in the most mysterious ways. Every time I venture out of my comfort zone, I get a little more accustomed to change, difference, independence and uncertainty. I've been picking up pace slowly. I feel slow now, this rate that I'm going.

When I was walking down Telegraph this morning, Queen's "I want to break free" was playing in my head. I pictured myself walking down Telegraph proclaiming to the world that it is time for me to break free. To watch, to learn, to live. It's cliche. But the feeling this morning was a different feeling - it wasn't just any "I want to go out and travel" kind of feeling. I don't know how to explain it.

The funny thing is that many things happened over the last 7 -10 days and there's a lot to write. But I'm lazy to put it in words. It will take so much thinking, and so much time to accurately put down what I'm thinking and feeling. And I know I'll risk chronologically arranging events instead of writing my reflections, and I'll become monotonous. What's the point then.

I'm tired. I need to go.

Joel's bday

Joel is going to arrive in 10 min.

I baked him a Betty Crocker Chocolate cake. If you know me well enough, you would know that I really really would have baked a cake from scratch. But I just don't have anything here in the apartment... I'm forced to go for the no-frills approach!!

My weekend

It's ironic- how much time I have for blogging because I have nothing else to do... which makes blogging pointless because there won't be anything to blog about!

Right now... I have plenty to say, and no time to write it all down!! But I promised myself to record everything wonderful so I'll make it quick. I had a great weekend with my new Couchsurfing friends Marina and Hasan. Marina and I went to the North Beach fest. We spent most of our time chilling on the grass, enjoying the cool breeze and sorching sun (yes, that's SF weather). Then at night we went to Ruby Skye which is a club on Mission Street that plays House music. I had a long day that Saturday and plus the hot sun and House music which I CANNOT appreciate, I fell asleep in the club. hahha

My first time clubbing in SF.. and I fell asleep. It obviously wasn't cool enough for my attention. lol.

Anyway, we started Sunday late since we got back late on Saturday. We headed to the mission district around 330pm for ice cream.... then we walked to Castro for me to get the tickets for the movie that Joel wants to watch on his bday... then we continued walking towards Haight. By the time we reached the legendary Haight and Ashbury cross roads, it was freezing and we were delirious. Take a look at the map and try to understand how much we walked that way.

Long walks up and down the hilly terrain. But it was an absolute joy to move from neighbourhood to neighbourhood and feel the change in atmosphere.

I don't have much time before Joel and Noshin arrives in Oakland... and I still have to pump the air mattress for them to sleep!!!!! Many things to do...

urm, also my last assignment for school. I almost forgot that. I am waiting for the video from the weekend to be uploaded onto fb. And then you'll be able to see more of my wonderful friends.

I'm going sky diving tomorrow... and Joel has many other things planned for his fab 25th Birthday so we'll be shagged. I hope I'll be able to find some time in between the fun to update this blog in the coming week!

Meanwhile, I hope you have a good week!

xo